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After Death Comes Rebirth

I just had a numerology astrology tarot reading which happened to be on the death day in the death year of my chart. Two of the main cards in the reading are the Judgement card and Death card. The Judgement card shows up when we reawaken what lays dormant and no longer serves us in order to release it. The Death card represents that which dies away and that which gets reborn.

Just as the cards say, I did lose a couple things in the past week that I really love. As I have been going through the experience of that loss, I have been dancing in the question, “What do I get to learn and what new things will come in?”

In the middle of ballet class on Monday, I became aware of something I was gripping onto like cat’s claws. After having a few experiences of giving something up only to get something better, I have developed more trust in the Divine's way. Immediately once I noticed that grip, I exclaimed inside my head, “I surrender God. I surrender! Take what no longer serves me. I know you will fill me up with something greater.” A smile of relief came across my face and an extra kick bounced into my dance.

Since my foot surgery at the end of last year, I had to relearn how to walk, dance, and practice yoga. At first there was pain to work through, then astonishment at how discombobulated my body felt, and finally frustration at not being where I was before surgery. On top of that, in the process of my body readjusting itself, my back went out. Was that previous body and all its skills lost and gone?

Never mind the question, I knew I wanted to share movement with others. I persevered asking my body to learn to perform again. And I did perform dance and teach a yoga class already! I think I fooled everyone into thinking my body was fully in shape too. ;)

On this day on Monday where I felt one of my compass needles disappear, I adventured into my first vinyasa yoga classes since surgery. The class was filled with lunges which my foot was scared of, yet I was stronger than ever before.

I walked out feeling fully relieved and started heading west to go home. The sun was still shining and I could watch it dance with the one cloud in the Portland sky. A very simple street scene, yet filled with so much bliss, joy, and love. But maybe there was more than meets the eye with this magenta orb appearing in the photo of that moment.

With every breath we take we die and are reborn again. Inhale new Oxygen, exhale toxins. The more we surrender, the more we can get rewarded. The more we open up, the more space there is that can be filled with new exciting things. Or just the removal of blockages from the potential of the greatest joy that already exists within. In the meantime, I have been given a brand new rental car to substitute for my car that was hit, new awesome friends, many more work opportunities, and my dream cruise to Alaska, the last state in this country for me to visit!!

From my performance post-surgery:

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