Go On Alone
The words "Go On Alone" seem to be one of the themes coming up for me recently. I was just reminded one of Swami Kriyananda’s last requests for Crystal Clarity Publishers before he passed away was to put the book A Place Called Ananda back in print with the title Go On Alone: A Struggle Between Personal Integrity and Group Conformity. That concept can have many layers. The layer I have been focusing on is how to play your part as an individual to better support the collective whole. In choir practice the other night our leader had us close our eyes while we sang. We were all amazed to hear how much better we sounded when we had to tune in more deeply on our own instead of just following the choir conductor. While sounding like one unified sound, you could also hear each part more poignantly. I remember when I used to perform dance pieces without music and without the ability to see all the dancers at once. We only had our breath and attunement to the group rhythm that we had previously established. While harder, it always felt more harmonious and connected with the other dancers and myself. I could feel my soul vibrate more deeply.
In the last year and a half both my spiritual guide, Swami Kriyananda, and my mother have passed away. In the absence of their physical presence, sometimes I felt at a loss of a protective shield of love. I did not want to give up on that feeling. So I turned inwards to feel them deep inside of me. I have realized their energy is still alive. I might just need to dig a little deeper to find it. Their energy is a piece of God's love and that always exists. Even though I have had to walk alone without them in the body, I am still not alone. I have noticed times when I leaned on outside sources, such as a partner or even Ananda. When I allowed my happiness to depend on their actions or feelings I was not as happy as when I sought it inside myself. I like that Ananda's two main theme songs are Many Hands Make a Miracle and Go On Alone. It is helpful to have a good environment around us. With a group, our actions can have much more impact and others can help keep us aligned. Yet where would the group be if we did not put effort forward as each individual and try to tune in ourselves? One of my counselors at Ananda often likes to tell me, “A group is only as strong as its weakest link.” When Swami Kriyananda passed away one of my first thoughts was, "What is next? What does Swami want to happen now?" Swami had such great magnetism that it was effortless for many of us to attract people to share our teachings. Now without his direct impact in the body I have found it helps to both walk alone to find that depth within myself and join hands with others to support each other. During Swami Kriyananda’s last summer in the Village he suggested we all become Swami Kriyananda’s. I think he was preparing us to take that next step without him in the body. I think that is a message for anyone on any path; to realize inside our own selves what inspires us on the outside. Go On Alone by Swami Kriyananda Sample track from the album Windows on the World "Walk like a man, even though you walk alone. Why court approval, once the road is known? Let come who will, but if they all turn home, the goal still awaits you: Go on alone!" Many Hands Make a Miracle by Swami Kriyananda Sample track from the album I Came From Joy! "Many hands make a miracle: Let's all join hands together! Life on earth is so wonderful When people laugh and dance and Struggle as friends, Then all their dreams achieve their ends." If you would like to read the current version of the book A Place Called Ananda, click here.